The New Year’s Resolution That Destroyed My Loneliness

I Didn’t Want to Be Lonely Anymore.

I didn’t start the year with the usual goals—no 6 a.m. wake-ups or cold plunges. My resolution was simple: I wanted to stop being lonely.

At the time, I didn’t even know if that was possible. I had just come out of a devastating friendship breakup that left me completely alone on my college campus. It wasn’t my first time feeling like this. But it was the moment I decided: This won’t be my story anymore.

The Resolution: 1 Meal a Day with Someone New

So, I made a commitment. Every single day, I would ask someone new to eat a meal with me.

Not people I knew well—just classmates, acquaintances, even strangers. The only rule was: get to know their story.

It started awkwardly. I carried 3x5 index cards in my skinny jeans (yes, really) with 50 conversation questions just in case there was a lull. But here’s what shocked me:

Every single person said yes.

And it turns out, when you go first—when you reach out—it makes people feel seen. That’s what we’re all craving.

From Cringe to Connection

I was terrified at first. Asking someone to lunch with no real reason? Mortifying. But over time, something changed.

• I got more comfortable.

• I got more confident.

• And I actually loved getting to know people.

It gave me hope. It got me out of my own pain. It reminded me I wasn’t alone—and neither were they.

250 Meals Later…

I kept the resolution going for the rest of college. Over 250 meals with different people.

This became the foundation of my mission. That’s why I started my podcast, Accidentally Intentional. Because I realized something powerful:

Loneliness can happen by accident. It ends with intentionality…more specifically, with action.

What This Means for You

If you’re lonely now, I need you to hear this:

• You are not the only one.

• You are not stuck.

• You are allowed to take action—even if it’s awkward.

You don’t have to do exactly what I did. But you can find someone you barely know—at work, church, the gym—and invite them to coffee. You can be the one who goes first.

Your loneliness isn’t your fault. But it is your responsibility.

🎥 Want to See the Full Story?

Check out the full episode of Accidentally Intentional on YouTube to hear the full breakdown of what I learned from my 250-meal challenge—and how you can start today.

Want to Build Better Friendships This Year?

Grab my free guide below: 15 Best Questions to Ask Someone to Build a Real Friendship.
It’s packed with conversation starters that go way deeper than small talk.

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Zoe Asher is a friendship and connection coach, corporate speaker, and host of the Accidentally Intentional podcast. Through practical tools and real talk, she helps people go from feeling disconnected to building friendships that actually last. Her mission is simple: destroy loneliness and teach the skill of meaningful connection — whether that’s in everyday life or in the workplace.

🗣 Want Zoe to speak at your event or work with your team? Click here to learn more.
🎙 Or keep hanging out with her on the Accidentally Intentional podcast & YouTube show.