How to Be the Friend Everyone Wants (But Rarely Finds)
The 7 Traits That Make You Magnetic in Friendship
We all say we want great friends—but here’s the hard truth: we often repel the very kind of connection we’re craving. The good news? You don’t have to wait for the perfect person to come along. You can become the kind of friend people feel lucky to know. Here's how:
1. Be Reliable (Not Flaky)
People need to know they can count on you. If you constantly reschedule, cancel last minute, or forget plans—you’re signaling that your time matters more than theirs. One of the simplest ways to build trust is just to do what you say you’re going to do.
2. Be Curious (Ask Questions)
People are starved to be asked about their lives. When you show genuine curiosity—without an agenda—it makes people feel seen. Ask better questions, not just “How was your weekend?” Try: “What was the highlight of your week?”
3. Be Present (Listen Like It Matters)
This one’s not revolutionary—but it’s rare. Put down your phone. Make eye contact. Respond with more than “wow, that’s crazy.” Listen in a way that makes the other person feel like they matter.
4. Be Supportive (Show Up Emotionally)
It’s not just about being there during crises. Celebrate their wins. Check in before big days. Send the “thinking of you” text. Supportive friends are memorable friends.
5. Be Reciprocal (Don’t Keep Score)
If you always expect them to initiate, remember your birthday, or text first—you’re not being a friend, you’re being a passive recipient. Real friendships flow in both directions.
6. Be Independent (Avoid Clinginess)
Healthy friendships are made of two whole people. If you rely on one person to meet all your emotional needs, you’ll burn them out. Rich friendships have space to breathe.
7. Be Respectful (Care About Their Well-Being)
True friends don’t manipulate, dismiss, or joke at your expense. They care about how you feel in their presence. If someone constantly leaves your nervous system on edge, it’s not a real friendship.
The Bottom Line
If you want deeper friendships, don’t wait for the perfect person to magically enter your life. Start by becoming the kind of friend you’ve always wanted.
You will attract more people.
You will build richer connections.
And you will stop wondering why nothing sticks.
Because the truth is: friendship isn’t luck—it’s a skill. And you can learn it.
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About the Author
Zoe Asher is a friendship and connection coach, YouTuber, and keynote speaker. She teaches individuals and corporate teams how to destroy loneliness and build relationships that actually last. Learn more at zoeasher.com.